Tuesday 13 January 2015

Josh & Adam's 100wc - week 17:

The light was so bright it was gleaming in my face, like a beautiful diamond so blue. Amazing... suddenly the world started to crumble one shake, two shakes,and then every building was crumbling and cracking day and night. Finally there was peace no guns firing. I nervously had a look over the top of our brutal trench. After that I saw the germans firing a hail storm of bullets knocking are troops down like dominos 1 by 1. I ducked quickly but it was too late it was just me and Jim left we had blood on both our faces that was going to get infected.
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2 comments:

  1. msokeeffe18 January 2015 at 10:55

    Hi Josh and Adam
    The start of your story was amazing and really drew me in. It was very intriguing and I was on the edge of my seat to read where it was going. I wasn't expecting the line about the "brutal trench" so it was an excellent and unexpected twist. Great writing.
    Ms O'Keeffe (team 100wc)
    Ireland

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  2. Clare25 January 2015 at 05:55

    I was looking through the Showcase and spotted that you were in Shrewsbury too, so I thought I'd have a read.
    I like the variety of sentence openers you've used as well as adverbs and time connectives to keep it flowing.
    We have someone in the showcase this week as well, so it's a good week for Shropshire. Maybe some of your class would like to look at ours and leave us a comment :-)
    http://www.baschurchprimary.org.uk/category/100wc/

    Keep up the good work.
    Mrs Williams, Team 100 UK

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